One of the most common questions I get asked about in my Positive Discipline seminars is how to manage ‘technology time’. Here are my top five tips:
Agree your household rules on technology use and consistently apply these rules
Set aside some time with your partner and discuss what your household technology use rules will be. Remember every household is different so do not be swayed by what others are doing, set up rules, which fit with your family’s values.
Once these limits have been agreed the rules must be clearly communicated to your children, so they know what is and is not allowed. To be effective these rules need to be consistently applied, day in and day out. The rules must also apply to the adults. For example, if you decide there will be no mobile phones at the table whilst you eat, then you must also keep your mobile away from the table.
Problem solve activities which your child can do once their technology time is up
Before your child starts their technology time discuss with them what they plan to do once their allotted time is up. This is critical to making the transition off technology smooth. Most parents say getting their children to come off the technology is often the most difficult thing to do. By helping children problem solve what they will do when they come off their devices you have created an easy transition to the next activity when you tell them their time is finally over.
Why not make an ‘ideas jar’ with your child. Use lollipop sticks to write down all the different things, which your child could do once their technology time is up. Place them in a jar and next time they have finished their technology time they can simply pull out a lollipop stick from the jar and get started on the next activity.
Provide a gentle countdown to their time
As with everyone, children become engrossed in their technology and lose all track of time. Have you ever been on the internet searching for something and before you know it an hour has gone! So it’s not surprising children become frustrated when their time is up.
You can help reduce this by providing gentle countdowns when they have ten, five and one minute left.
Model good technology use
How many times have you told your child they will have your undivided attention once you have just finished sending this one email or finishing this one thing on the computer? Is it any wonder our children tell us they are just finishing off a game and then ten minutes later they are still on their tablets?
If we want children to come off their technology when we ask then we must model this behaviour and stick to any technology rules without exception – children model what they see NOT what they are told.